How to Stop Time

nicobellella @ 2006-08-19T10:57:00

2006-08-19T18:06:03Z

I'm sitting in a quiet little condo on Seabright, looking at the beach and while it sounds nice I'm in extreme pain. I got my tonsils out on Thursday and it seems like the pain is getting worse everyday. Every morning I wake up in a puddle of cold water because my ice pack melts and leaks all over me, I guess it's better than a warm puddle, right? More than that though, I can't open my mouth and even if I could I would probably kill everyone around me with my terrible breath brought on by the surgery. And no solid foods for ten whole days...just baby food and liquid, mmm.

But, I go to Costa Rica is less than a month and after that I come back to Santa Cruz to a real job at a Chiropractic/Massage therapy office that starts at $14/hour for the first 90 days and goes up from there. If I can I'm going to stay at Shogun Sushi Restaraunt too for two-three days a week because they asked me to serve. If anyone needs a roommate or knows of a place with an open and affordable room, let me know (starting Oct. 1st).

WTF

2006-06-29T04:30:28Z

Today was stressful and to top it off extremely embarassing------Started out with bloodtests galore and me being absent minded all day...

My embarassment aside, I am moving tomorrow/Friday...come visit me at Natural Bridges, I live right across the street from it.

PS. Summer school sucks.

Quick Update

2006-05-13T17:37:55Z

My life has been hectic, but most amazing for the last quarter. The time has gone by more quickly than ever. I think in part it has to do with the rain... I couldn't even imagine that it was springtime here with all of that weather, but now that the sun has come out and it's already the middle of May, I've come to the realization that we only have one month left, less now, of school. And then...we graduate and all of us go our separate ways. I love lists so here's a little list update of my life.

-My thesis is amazingly interesting and I've started, gotten through all of my interviews, research and turn in the rough draft on Tuesday...eep. Hope it goes over well.

-I started a job grooming/bathing dogs and it's SO much fun... I get all wet and get to play with big, sweet dogs every day and get tipped for it.

-Everyone is moving out of the 210 Mira Vista house July 1st, which is really sad...we've had moments where we've gotten down about it, even though the house sucks with its mold and smelly carpets...and I'm moving into the Beachhouse with Sophia, Lia, Vanessa, Amanda and Stefanie is going to sleep there for bits and part of the summer

-In September/October for 5-6 weeks Stefanie and I are going to Europe so if anyone wants to meet us there, please do! We're definitely going to Oktoberfest, but we're deciding between going to Western Europe from there or Eastern Europe... if we go to Western we're going to take a fairy over and go to Morocco. Tough decisions.

-After Europe, I haven't decided. I want to get a dog, but that means I would be living here. So many of my friends will be here and around the bay area next year, I might stay and live outside of SC for cheaper rent or in the beach house. All of my friends have another year of school, why leave them now?

-Still eating two burritos a day, in case you were wondering.

Love,
Nicole

nyc

2006-03-25T03:37:00Z

nicobellella @ 2005-09-22T21:15:00

2005-09-23T04:14:27Z

First day of classes... weeeeeeeee

nicobellella @ 2005-09-16T12:20:00

2005-09-16T19:40:58Z

Received a 12:00 phone call last night... rode off into the night on bikes to the ocean...stayed out all night....did the western swing on the bike path...it all starts over again...

nicobellella @ 2005-09-13T11:36:00

2005-09-13T18:26:19Z

My roommate from freshman year posted this, I love it. Here's what she said about me... now you guys reply with your name and I'll write about you.

Contractual Agreement
1. Reply with your name and I will write something random about you.
2. I will then tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3. I will pick a flavor of jello to wrestle with you in.
4. I will say something that only makes sense to you and me. Or try to.
5. I will tell you my first memory of you.
6. I will tell you what color you remind me of.
7. I'll then ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on your LJ. (and be prepared to answer the question I ask in #7)

From Susie to Nicole:
1. You have the prettiest hair of anyone I know
2. "The General" by The Distillers (at least I think it was The Distillers), from one of the mix CDs I burned from you.
3. Strawberry... definitely
4. Hmm... "Nic, get him out of here! I'm not wearing any pants!"
5. Well... that would have to be the first time I talked to you online... I was so nervous to meet my roomie! I think it worked out well :)
6. Light blue, with a little bit of green in it, not aqua, but rather a dusty sort of blue
7. Have you had a good time this past year at UCSC? I've hardly gotten the chance to talk to you!

nicobellella @ 2005-09-13T11:26:00

2005-09-13T18:21:41Z

I'm back. Listening to Black Sabbath right now... I know you're all jealous. Santa Cruz is great. I can't sleep in, it's depressing... I don't know if it's because of the time change, the bed, the new surroundings or my anxiousness. Yesterday I woke up and walked to Science Hill with Madison from the house and back, which takes 2 hours and was surprisingly exhausting...moved in...went grocery shopping with Audra...went to a BBQ at Kyle's and met his darling Irish girlfriend and then went to pick Bryce up at the airport. Oooo then we ate Charlie Hong Kong, dropped Bryce off and watched LAGUNA BEACH and ate Marianne's icecream. This morning I woke up early, AGAIN, went for a run... force fed myself a small bowl of cereal (my medication has made me lose ALL signs of my appetite...which severely SUCKS ass) and now I'm waiting to hear from Jamie to go for a bike ride along Westcliff. Oh the Santa Cruz lifestyle. I love it here... I miss home. Jackson is amazing.

I love how my mix of music goes from Black Sabbath to Billie Holliday... classic.

Wyoming Boredom

2005-09-04T05:22:09Z

1- From your LiveJournal Friend List who would you:
Kill - Most of you.
Marry - Jamie's probably the closest.
Fuck- Probably not you, but probably you.

2- You are in bed alone and let one go; do you give yourself a Dutch oven?
Strange question, but I think we can all agree on this one...

3- Celebrity you spanked it most to?
hmmmmm. hard to say/remember. i don't think i've masturbated to the thought of celebrities since like, middle school...or yesterday...hmmm.

4- Describe in detail the most physically revolting person you have slept with.
No...but I guarentee none of them were revolting... I make gorgeous love.

5- Have you ever stolen from a family member to feed an addiction?
Just my addiction for Swedish Fish at the neighborhood market.

6- If your hypothetical child were gay, would you rather them be a top or a bottom?
Top, always top....does it matter?

7- Longest distance you travelled to get laid?
About 1000 miles... but to be honest, it wasn't solely to get laid.

8- Do you have ugly friends?
no. i should though, so then i could look better by comparison...ha.

9- Would you rather your daughter marry a black doctor or a white janitor?
What about a Jewish deli owner?

10- How many salads have you tossed?
Ewww... what's with this quiz?

11- Was the world better off when Saddam had Iraq under his thumb?
I don't like talking politics on livejournal.

12- On a scale of 1-10 how wrong is sex with a cousin? (10 being the worst)
Well, on a scale of one to gnarley... that's fucking gnarley.

13- Would you consider a relationship with someone who believes in God?
Depends

14- How many pounds do you shave off your weight when asked?
3.45653... just to give a rough estimate.

15- How much would you have to be paid to sleep with the person who posted this?
Hmmmm... wouldn't you like to know.

nicobellella @ 2005-08-30T13:40:00

2005-08-30T19:45:30Z

I'm headed down to Salt Lake City again today. I'm really not looking forward to it, but hopefully they will give me some sort of valuable information and new medication. I was on medication and I had an allergic reaction that occurs in about one in ten thousand people... lucky me. So, I had to quit that, go to the hospital and start taking a steroid that makes me absolutely agitated twenty four hours a day...only a few more days though and I'll be back on a medication to take care of the rest. This new medication is going to make me a different person, which scares me to death. I like who I am and I don't want to be a "zombie," as they are telling me I will feel. I'll just be the wallflower from now on... mind you, the sober one.

The date I am to return to Santa Cruz has been pushed back over and over, originally I was supposed to leave around tomorrow driving the car I was supposed to buy this summer... but considering I can't drive for at least three months that's obviously not happening... not to mention I never invested in that car. Then I had a flight scheduled for the 7th of September and now my doctor has written a letter to Delta to keep me from leaving that soon... I just don't know when I will get there...hopefully sooner than later. I am bored, lonely, depressed and sick of it here. This summer has been too much to deal with.

nicobellella @ 2005-08-15T17:26:00

2005-08-15T23:27:12Z

Good news, I'm coming back to Santa Cruz for the Fall quarter! Yay! Only a few more weeks and I'll be there, I really can't wait.

nicobellella @ 2005-07-20T22:37:00

2005-07-21T04:37:54Z

ahhh, i almost died in a head on collision tonight...i had to swerve off the road into a ditch... i've been crying all night! never ever ever pass on a bridge like the assssshole that almost hit me.

nicobellella @ 2005-07-17T12:40:00

2005-07-17T18:40:54Z

This is a 13 mile hike that Rachael and I did last week, it's so amazing out there. We climbed up this steep ass hill to climb these rocks but then found out they were sandstone and far too soft to climb... bummer. P>

nicobellella @ 2005-07-11T14:45:00

2005-07-11T20:46:54Z

i got invited to chile to go skiing! they're having an "epic" winter down there and my best friend's dad offered to take me if i do some website design for him and take care of their dog while they're in tahiti! i'm sooooo excited... i miss winter so much. i think i'm going either in september or even next weekend... insane.

nicobellella @ 2005-06-30T17:46:00

2005-07-01T01:53:46Z

Jackson isn't looking so bad for the summer, I just started working with this amazing girl, Rachael, who is absolutely fantastic. She is from Mississippi, a great little southern bell who I just can't get enough of. Our plans for the summer include rock climbing three days a week after work, hiking Snow King every morning before work, exercising two different client's horses and eating lots and lots until we can't fit into our already too tight clothing! Sounds like a wonderful summer, however I do miss, oh so dearly, my friends from Santa Cruz.

Ooooh, I am also working with Santana's ex-drummer's son who played guitar with me for 4 hours the other night... my fingers were nearly bleeding! I learned a lot of new songs and techniques and a shitload about drumming and rythm. His guilty pleasure is Oasis so I learned three of their songs, ha.

Right now I'm sitting in an art gallery waiting for 8:00 to come so I can go eat a yummy meal at the Old Yellowstone Garage, THE BEST Italian food ever.

So I wish I was going to be in Santa Cruz for the fourth of July, although it looks as if everyone is headed down south... but I still think SC is where I'd be just because I miss it oh so much, but I do miss Laurel/Kristen/Vicki and whoever else is down in San Diego. Sadly, however, I don't have the choice of going either place...I'm stuck here in the "Old West" not the Midwest, Kyle! The midwest is comprised of Ohio, Wisconsin, Illinois, Missouri, The Dakotas, Nebraska, etc etc.

I think I found a house for Julia, Audra and even Madison to live in next year, how exciting! It's on Arroyo Seco and I'm hoping that it works out... I'm nervous about housing, I feel like I'm doing so much work and getting nowhere... I need some help.

I haven't thought of boys in a long time and that feels good... I need to be single for the summer, it's just a good idea in my opinion. Not so that I can keep my options open but the fact that if I met someone here in Jackson, I'd have to leave in September, besides the guys here are sudo-sluts, and if I had been dating someone in Santa Cruz and came here for the summer, I'd be sad and lonely for two months. So single it is for me... plus I have tons of plans that I have to accomplish by the end of the summer

1. Hike Snow King at least 3x/week
2. Play guitar every day
3. Read: Bushwacked, America Rhapsody, Objection, The Secret Life of Bees, From Grandmother to Granddaughter, The Davinci Code (Finally), Olivia Joules and the Overactive Imagination, The Art of Doing Nothing and anything else someone wants to suggest.
4. Get back into rock climbing
5. Climb the Grand Teton
6. Kayak and Rafting
7. Buy a car
8. Find housing in SC
9. Drive to Santa Cruz with Jamie

I hope I can do it all.

nicobellella @ 2005-06-27T10:17:00

2005-06-27T16:44:09Z

Do you take vacations, runaway or visit foreign countries to escape the cold reality that surrounds you day after day or do you go away expecting to be swept away and overwhelmed with a whole new outlook on life? Sadly, however cliche it is, I have to admit that many times this is the epitome of me. Past excursions, however, have never left me feeling the way this most recent one has. I feel as though I HAVE come back with a new outlook on life. I just returned yesterday from Mexico and after nine days of reading, thinking, sleeping, relaxing and spending time with my family, I have compiled a new list of the ways I want to live:

1. No one is looking or thinking about you, they are too busy thinking about themselves. Just like you.
2. Nothing is as good or bad as it seems.
3. No one is better or more powerful than you unless you allow them to be.

Hmm... I had more, they're just not coming to me right now. I didn't just relax and sleep the whole time, although it did take up about 97% of the vacation, but I can't really brag about getting drunk with my mom and other family friends, another 50 year old woman and a recent high school grad. However, on my Mom's birthday, we went to a sports bar and I drank a bucket of Coronas by myself + two and then sang on the karaoke stage "Like A Virgin" and "Happy Birthday" for my mom...I chose "Like A Virgin" to rudely point out the fact that my mom is not getting any, in my opinion at least... I hope she isn't haha because I don't want to think about it. Then we went to Senor Frogs and I drank yet another cerveza and ended up dancing by myself and apparently telling my mom to "burn in hell" if she wouldn't dance with me... wow, never let me drink like that again. I also went to the ruins at Chichen Itza which was amazing but overrun with tourists and wasn't quite the experience I had imagined it would be, whatevs. I climbed to the top of the pyramid which was surprisingly hard and steep... and when I looked down I was like "what the fuck have I gotten myself into, i'm going to fall down those fucking stairs if i try to walk down." I made it.

Now, I need to start my endless search for a house in SC... which reminds me... I had a funny dream about Ali G., this crazy comedian who is ridiculous looking, who fell in love with Audra and she moved to England with him and didn't even say goodbye... she had her mom tell Bryant and I...who began to cry hysterically. Then, I got the Palm house in my dream and I was alone one night and these scary fat masked burglars came with guns and chased me around the house and I called 911 right as Ginny came in... and she knew the burglars and then the cops came and arrested ME because I looked like a crazy woman crying and falsley accusing people and prank calling 911. Anyway, sorry long and crazy dream, I got on a plane and it crashed into an icy lake and right before I was about to die I woke up... it was a fucking scary ass dream!

Okay, enough babbling. I'm back in Jackson... and I must find something to do for the next two months to keep me from going INSANE.

nicobellella @ 2005-06-16T16:42:00

2005-06-16T22:49:41Z

I got back to Jackson on Tuesday, I always forget how amazingly beautiful it is here. The airport is right next to the Tetons and the view is gorgeous from up in the air. The weather here has been okay, although there was a big thunderstorm today (which I love) and hail balls the size of large jawbreakers, there are dents on the hood of my mom's car. I hiked up Snow King yesterday and today I took my dog on a hike in the woods behind my house and I got lost and horribly sunburned because I hadn't anticipated such a long day. I haven't seen any of my friends yet because I really didn't have the energy since I've only been here for two days... I leave for Mexico tonight, I'm a little excited but I'd almost rather stay here.

So last night my parents tell me that my brother doesn't like his car, an Audi A6, and that instead of having me buy a car they're going to give it to me...for free... and give him their newer Trail Blazer (what a spoiled little punk, but he deserves it, he's a good kid...not to mention how spoiled I am too). So my plan of coming to Jackson and working my ass off just to buy a car is dead, so now I'm just working my ass off to pay for gas money next year and I have to admit I'm a little bitter that I left Santa Cruz for nothing. I need the break though, I like having time to myself to reflect. I like change.

To all of my Santa Cruz friends, I miss you very much and I hope you have the best summer of your lives. I will be in contact with you all summer and can't wait to see you again! To those going abroad, have a great year, I'll miss you and wish I would have had more time to see you before you depart.

God? Just like a Prayer

2005-06-12T18:36:21Z

Pictures from last night...too funny. We saw God and the Devil that night.

nicobellella @ 2005-06-11T17:05:00

2005-06-12T00:10:26Z

Never look back on the mistakes you make with regrets, it's the process of life--to live and learn. Instead of regretting what you did "wrong," realize it was "right" because everything happens for a reason and you can't learn until you experience.

I'm very sad to be leaving Santa Cruz, but at the same time I know I need to regain a lot of what and who I am. I think being in Jackson will revive me. The past few weeks have been absolutely amazing. I've been spending a lot of alone time which is sad because I'm going to miss everyone so much, but I've needed this time to just reflect. I went to graduation today and of course was on the verge of tears the whole time, it's a shocking realization that these people are done with their undergrad schooling and many of them will never see each other agian. I heard a lot of "Have a nice life"'s as they hugged and continued to visit with other family and friends. I hope that I keep in touch with my friends from here because it is true they are absolutely incredible.

nicobellella @ 2005-06-06T00:22:00

2005-06-06T07:22:36Z

I had a really great going away BBQ on Saturday which was put on by my glorious roommates, here are some pictures. I'm going to miss all of you so much!

nicobellella @ 2005-06-05T10:31:00

2005-06-05T17:38:29Z

I got a tattoo on Friday... it was a really strange day... I went to the print sale and I saw a print of a treble cleff, which at the time I didn't know the name of, but I was like, hmm if I ever get a tattoo, that's what I want it of... at that time I still didn't know what it was called... after that I just left and didn't think twice about it... until I was drinking a Jamba Juice and realized I had nothing to do for 2 hours (I had a softball dinner to go to). So Amy, being all crazy, drove to a tattoo parlor and reminded me about the tattoo I wanted... and I was like yeah shit lets do this... so I got into the place and tried to explain to them what I wanted but since I didn't know the name I had to go out in search of one... when I found one they were like, shit, we could have drawn a treble cleff for you and I was like... so that's what that's called... and I was going to get it on the back side of my shoulder but the woman saw my back dimples and decided it needed to go right there between them and I didn't disagree... so then it was there and I'm happy about it. I'm horrible at story telling.

My cute roommmates had a BBQ for me last night and it turned out really well... I was so grateful that people showed up because usually when I have things for myself I tend to worry that no one will show up. It was a success. After that I passed the fuck out from a long day of drinking... I think I slept well over 12 hours! YESSSSS.

River today... everyone BETTER GO!

nicobellella @ 2005-06-01T23:57:00

2005-06-02T06:54:20Z

throw it away, let it go...it's time
smile instead and remember what is best
live to learn and learn to know
do not always accept, but challenge
know happiness, know yourself

god i could write a fucking self help book... i mean everything i write, but i have yet to know what i mean. i need to live by the things i propose because i know it is possible. i can create my own reality, i just need to learn to know.

this week has been a series of ups and downs, as has the rest of the year. it's coming to a close and all i can do is reflect on the year and keep with me the memories. things are forever changing and we will never stop it. we are moving through time and space, with or without a purpose or a meaning, we are here.

nicobellella @ 2005-05-27T12:57:00

2005-05-27T19:49:55Z

Ahh, a peanut butter and jelly sandwich...one of the simple pleasures I live for.

What Would I Do Without Benny???

2005-05-27T05:30:00Z

Quickly, before I have to write this paper, I need to tell you all a story of my courageous efforts to save the beautiful black dog, Benny (the Love of my Life) seen above. Today as I was frying myself a salmon fillet, I noticed that Benny was making a very strange noise with the back of his throat and then I also noticed that he had stopped breathing. After trying to make him drink a little water, he suddenly began freaking out and had his head on the ground and appeared to be trying to scrape something out of his throat with his own paws, but it was impossible. He was still not breathing and he was going crazy but wouldn't let me help him... I began to freak out and started calling my roommates cell which was off... fuck, so I had to take things in to my own hands... so I grabbed him, held him down the best I could, while beginning to cry, I was so worried about that sweet dog I couldn't help it, and then I pryed his mouth open. Since he was so freaked out and still not breathing, he kept trying to bite my arm, which he did really well and I pulled out a thick, broken stick that had lodged itself in his throat. After that he began breathing frantically, shaking and then jumped into my lap on the couch and started trembling... it was the most intense emotional thing. I love this fucking dog so much... I'm so glad that I was here to get that out of his throat.

sad face...quick

2005-05-26T07:10:28Z